本期點(diǎn)評(píng)名師

陳傳光 男，江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)高級(jí)教師、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁、江蘇省教育學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員，從事教育教學(xué)工作多年；曾獲英語(yǔ)教研能力大賽區(qū)一等獎(jiǎng)、英語(yǔ)專(zhuān)業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)、班主任基本功大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)；有多篇論文在各核心和主流期刊上發(fā)表；曾指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在各類(lèi)競(jìng)賽中取得不錯(cuò)的成績(jī)，有多人獲得地市級(jí)獎(jiǎng)和省級(jí)獎(jiǎng)。

An Unusual Trip

Last Saturday， John， Mike and I went on a hike. It was sunny. We had agood time there.

Soon it was time to go back home and we were tired. We began to walkback. It was completely dark and we got lost. Suddenly， Mike had a fall and hurt her①leg. We helped him to walk slowly. We were cold and hungry. Luckily wesaw a light not far away. It was a small house！ We knocked at the door and anold man came out. He invited us to stay for the night. The next morning， with thehelp of the old man’s son， we went back home safe②.

It was an unusual trip， and we were grateful for③the kind old man and his son.

江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué) 陳立玉

點(diǎn)評(píng)

優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

小作者先介紹旅行中所發(fā)生的事情，之后，表達(dá)旅行后的感受。文章用詞得當(dāng)，條理清晰，是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

需要修改的地方：

①her 改為his。代指Mike（男性），要使用his。

②safe 改為safely。修飾動(dòng)詞短語(yǔ)went back home，要使用副詞safely。

③for 改為to。be grateful to sb.意為“感激某人”。

評(píng)分

院按江蘇省連云港市中考英語(yǔ)作文滿(mǎn)分25 分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得22分。