文/曉菲
為你,千千萬萬遍
——《追風(fēng)箏的人》賞析
文/曉菲
責(zé)任編輯:李丁文
The next morning,Hassan told me he had a dream.“We were at Ghargha Lake,you,me,and thousands of other people,”he said.“It was warm and sunny,and the lake was clear like a mirror.But no one was swimming because they said a monster had come to the lake.It was swimming at the bottom, waiting.”
“So everyone is scared to get in the water,and suddenly you kick off(踢掉)your shoes,and take off your shirt.‘There’s no monster,’you say.‘I’ll show you all.’And before anyone can stop you,you dive into(跳入)the water,start swimming away.I follow you in and we’re both swimming.”
“But you can’t swim.”
Hassan laughed.“It’s a dream,Amir agha,you can do anything.Anyway,everyone is screaming,‘Getout!Get out!’but we just swim in the cold water. We make it way out to the middle of the lake and we stop swimming.We turn toward the shore and wave to the people.They look small like ants,but we can hear them clapping.They see now.There is no monster,just water.”
“So what does it mean?”I said.
“I don’t know.I was hoping you could tell me.”
“Well,it’s a dumb dream.Nothing happens in it.”
“Father says dreams always mean something.”
I sipped some tea.“Why don’t you ask him, then?He’s so smart.”I said,more curtly than I had intended.I hadn’t slept all night,and my eyes stung(刺痛).Still, I had been mean to Hassan. I almost apologized,then didn’t.Hassan understood I was just nervous.Hassan always understood about me.
The streets glistened with(閃耀著)fresh snow and the sky was a blameless(清白的;無可責(zé)備的)blue.Snow blanketed every rooftop and weighed on the branches of the stunted mulberry(桑樹)trees that lined our street.Overnight,snow had nudged(推進(jìn))its way into every crack(裂縫)and gutter(地溝).I squinted(斜視)against the blinding white when Hassan and I stepped through the wrought-iron gates.
I had never seen so many people on our street. Kids were flinging snowballs,squabbling,chasing one another,giggling.Kite fighters were huddling with(蜷成一團(tuán))their spool holders,making last minute preparations.From adjacent(鄰近的)streets,I could hear laughter and chatter.Already,rooftops were jammed with(充滿)spectators(圍觀者)reclining in lawn chairs,hot tea steaming from thermoses,and the music of Ahmad Zahir blaring from cassette players.
I turned my gaze to our rooftop,found Baba and Rahim Khan sitting on a bench,both dressed in wool sweaters,drinking tea.Baba waved.I couldn’t tell if he was waving at me or Hassan.
“We should get started,”Hassan said.
Suddenly I wanted to withdraw(撤退).Pack it all in,go back home.What was I thinking?Why was I putting myself through this,when I already knew the outcome(結(jié)果)?Baba was on the roof,watching me.I felt his glare on me like the heat of a blistering sun.This would be failure on a grand scale, even for me.
“I’m not sure I want to fly a kite today,”I said.
“It’s a beautiful day,”Hassan said.
I shifted on my feet.Tried to peel my gaze away from our rooftop.“I don’t know.Maybe we should go home.”
Then he stepped toward me and,in a low voice, said something that scared me a little.“Remember, Amir agha.There’s no monster,just a beautiful day.”How could I be such an open book to him when, half the time,I had no idea what was milling around in his head?I was the one who went to school,the one who could read,write.I was the smart one. Hassan couldn’t read a first grade textbook but he’d read me plenty.That was a little unsettling(使人不安的),but also sort of comfortable to have someone who always knew what you needed.
“No monster,”I said,feeling a little better,to my own surprise.
He smiled.“No monster.”
“Are you sure?”
He closed his eyes.Nodded.
“Let’s fly,”he said.
It occurred to me then that maybe Hassan had made up his dream.Was that possible?I decided it wasn’t.Hassan wasn’t that smart.I wasn’t that smart.But made up or not,the silly dream had lifted some of my anxiety.Maybe I should take off my shirt,take a swim in the lake.Why not?
“Let’s do it,”I said.
次日早晨,哈桑告訴我他做了一個夢。“我們在喀爾卡湖,你,我,還有幾千個人?!彼f,“天氣暖和,陽光燦爛,湖水像鏡子一樣清澈。但是沒有人游泳,因為他們說湖里有個鬼怪。它在湖底潛伏著,等待著?!?/p>
“所以大家都很害怕,不敢下水。突然你踢掉鞋子,脫掉衣服?!锩鏇]有鬼怪,’你說,‘我證明給你們看看?!蠹疫€來不及阻止你,你便一頭扎進(jìn)湖里,游開了。我跟著你,我們都游著?!?/p>
“可是你不會游泳?!?/p>
哈桑哈哈大笑:“那是在夢里啊,阿米爾少爺,你能做任何事情。每個人都尖聲叫喚‘快上來!快上來!’但我們只是在冰冷的湖水里面游泳。我們游到湖中央,停下來。我們轉(zhuǎn)向湖岸,朝人們揮手。他們看起來像小小的螞蟻,但我們能聽到他們的掌聲?,F(xiàn)在他們知道了,湖里沒有鬼怪,只有湖水?!?/p>
“這夢是什么意思呢?”我說。
“我不知道,我還指望你告訴我呢。”
“好吧,那是個愚蠢的夢而已,沒有什么含義?!?/p>
“爸爸說夢總是意味著某種東西。”
我喝著茶:“那么你為什么不去問他呢?他多聰明呀?!蔽业牟荒蜔┖喼背龊踝约阂饬?。我徹夜未眠,眼睛刺痛。即使這樣,我對哈桑也太刻薄了。我差點(diǎn)向他道歉,但是沒有。哈桑明白我只是精神緊張。哈??偸敲靼孜?。
街上新下的積雪銀光閃閃,天空藍(lán)得無可挑剔。雪花覆蓋了每一個屋頂,矮小的桑椹樹在我們這條街排開,樹枝上也堆滿了積雪。一夜之間,雪花塞滿了所有的裂縫和水溝。哈桑和我走出鍛鐵大門時,雪花反射出白晃晃的光芒,照得我睜不開眼。
我從來沒有見到街上有這么多人。兒童在打雪仗,拌嘴,相互追逐,咯咯笑著。風(fēng)箏斗士和幫他們拿卷軸的人擠在一起,做最后的準(zhǔn)備。周圍的街道傳來歡聲笑語,各處屋頂已經(jīng)擠滿了看客,他們斜躺在折疊椅上,暖水壺里的紅茶熱氣騰騰,錄音機(jī)傳出艾哈邁德·查希爾喧鬧的音樂。
我朝自家的屋頂看去,發(fā)現(xiàn)爸爸和拉辛汗坐在一張長凳上,兩人都穿著羊毛衫,喝著茶。爸爸揮揮手,我不知道他究竟是跟我還是跟哈桑打招呼。
“我們得開始了?!惫Uf。
突然間我想放棄,把東西收起來,轉(zhuǎn)身回家。我在想什么呢?我既然已經(jīng)知道結(jié)局,何必還要讓自己來體驗這一切呢?爸爸在屋頂上看著我。我覺得他的目光像太陽那樣熱得令人發(fā)燙。今天,即使是我,也必定難逃慘敗。
“我有點(diǎn)不想在今天放風(fēng)箏了?!蔽艺f。
“今天是個好日子?!惫Uf。
我轉(zhuǎn)動雙腳,試圖讓目光離開我們家的屋頂?!拔也恢?,也許我們該回家去。”
接著他上前一步,低聲說了一句讓我有些吃驚的話?!坝涀?,阿米爾少爺,沒有鬼怪,只是個好日子。”我對他腦海盤桓的念頭常常一無所知,可是我在他面前怎么就像一本打開的書?到學(xué)校上學(xué)的人是我,會讀書寫字的人是我,聰明伶俐的也是我。哈桑雖然看不懂一年級的課本,卻能看穿我。這讓人不安,可是有人永遠(yuǎn)對你的需求了如指掌,畢竟也叫人寬心。
“沒有鬼怪。”我低聲說。出乎意料的是,我竟然覺得好些了。
他微笑:“沒有鬼怪?!?/p>
“你確定?”
他閉上雙眼,點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭。
“我們來放風(fēng)箏吧?!彼f。
當(dāng)時我覺得哈桑那個夢可能是他編出來的。那可能嗎?我確定不是,哈桑沒那么聰明,我也沒那么聰明。但不管是否是編造的,那個愚蠢的夢緩解了我的焦慮。興許我該除去衣服,到湖里去游一游。為什么不呢?
“我們來放?!蔽艺f。
如果你只看過一本阿富汗作家寫的書,那一定出自卡勒德·胡賽尼(Khaled Hosseini)之手。胡賽尼于1965年出生于阿富汗喀布爾市,后隨家人移民美國加州,成為一名著名的內(nèi)科醫(yī)生。美國安逸的生活方式、加州溫暖的陽光,并未讓胡賽尼安于現(xiàn)狀。1999年,得知塔利班禁止阿富汗民眾放風(fēng)箏——這是他童年很喜愛的休閑活動,胡賽尼感觸很深。憑著對兒時的零星記憶,他寫下了這部改變他一生的作品——《追風(fēng)箏的人》(The Kite Runner)。
很難定義這本書最打動人心的到底是哪一點(diǎn),因為它更像是多層情感的匯集。比如一扇讓世界了解阿富汗的窗,一段兒時純真的友情,一曲父與子之間未完待續(xù)的歌,一個成年后拼死想要去彌補(bǔ)的錯誤,等等。
主人公阿米爾,出生在阿富汗一個中上層家庭。在政局尚且穩(wěn)定的環(huán)境下,盡管從未感受過母愛,還需要很費(fèi)勁才能體會到父愛,卻依舊不阻礙他度過一個無憂無慮的童年。而這一切的快樂,多半是他的仆人兼玩伴哈桑給的。本期節(jié)選的段落,講述的是兩個小伙伴即將參與風(fēng)箏比賽的故事。彼時的阿富汗,陽光尚好,春暖花開。縱使并不富足,等級觀念濃郁,但至少并未被戰(zhàn)火的硝煙籠罩。一年一度的風(fēng)箏比賽,更是家家戶戶最期待的活動。如選篇中描述的“Already,rooftops were jammed with spectators”,房屋的頂上,老早就被圍觀者擠滿了。
父親對阿米爾最愛的寫作事業(yè)甚少過問,但對于放風(fēng)箏比賽無比上心。選最好的工匠、最結(jié)實(shí)的材料,希望兒子能在比賽中獨(dú)占鰲頭。在眾目睽睽之下,切掉所有對手的風(fēng)箏線。就因為深知這些壓力,越臨近比賽,阿米爾心中越忐忑。而這一切,都被哈??丛诹搜劾?。他拼盡全部智慧,講述了一個能讓主人平靜下來的夢,最終讓阿米爾順利參加比賽,贏得了冠軍。原來那句以友誼之名許下的諾言“為你,千千萬萬遍”,是可以讓目不識丁的哈桑變得聰敏、讓手無寸鐵的孩童戰(zhàn)勝敵人、讓這個民族根深蒂固的等級觀念逐漸淡漠的。
在這一篇章里,作者用最樸實(shí)的言語還原了熱鬧的街、情同手足的友情、耐人尋味的父愛。這一切,都和小說后半段刻畫的戰(zhàn)爭、背叛、逃避、死亡形成鮮明的對比。
年幼時脫口許下的諾言,曾經(jīng)以為弱小的肩膀可以承受住那般山盟海誓;童年時一起抬頭仰望藍(lán)天,又怎會想到這奢侈的和平其實(shí)無法永恒。感謝胡賽尼替我們打開了一扇窗,透過它,我們方能更謙卑地珍惜當(dāng)下。唯有如此,才不辜負(fù)此刻云淡風(fēng)輕的美好。
陳曉菲(Sherly Chen):畢業(yè)于北京師范大學(xué)英美文學(xué)專業(yè),獲美國俄勒岡州政府獎學(xué)金赴美留學(xué)深造。7年一線英語教學(xué)經(jīng)驗。精通英語,酷愛文學(xué)。愿用手中筆,記下心中愛。